To me, and probably many of you, Warped Tour essentially defines “scene”…If a band is playing Warped Tour and isn’t a senior (see: NOFX, Anti Flag, etc…) then the chances of them being classified as “scene” are more than likely. If theres a new scene trend, chances are everyone at Warped Tour is repping it..hard. When someone asks what “scene” bands are I generally say “you know…like Warped Tour bands”. This hasn’t been the case for the entire 15 years Warped has existed, but I’m going to say that for at least the last six, that’s how it goes.
This year, Warped Tour has held strong to our notable favorites: the neo-boy-bands (because we all know The White Tie Affair and Cash Cash are nothing more than the dudes from Nsync holding instruments) , American Apparel, and silicone bracelets a la Jac Vanek. Last years happy hardcore Four Year Strong was replaced with their lower east coast counterparts, A Day To Remember. 3oh!3’s rookie hip hop spot became home to some incredible Canadian talent, known as Down With Webster. The mainstage-ers remained the mainstage-ers either old, crusty, and punk, or decked out in Glamour Kills singing about how many 12 year olds want to bone them. But really, there’s no surpise there….
Now that we’ve got the basics covered, let us get to the dirt (or dust, or mud, depending on if you went to an Arizona date or a Florida one…). Warped Tour is the traveling circus of the scene, where for a mere (scoff) $40, you can stand in signing lines and oggle at the freaks and wierdos that resonate through your headphones all year long, and fight the neon fangirls suffocating you you with their XL tees from Ziggy’s General Store, or the suddenly bearded Vinny Vegas as they attempt to make it to the barricade for just a glimpse of OMG!askarth live in action. Warped Tour is known for a few basic things, that make it so dear to the scene:
1)Tour Water. Up until this year,when the recession hit and it became a “bands only” delicacy, Tour Water was a hot commodity. Like a giant Monster, minus the heart attack, Warped Tour Water comes in cans (for that lovely aluminium taste) decked out with the sweet logo for that year’s Tour.
2)FREE SHIT. Not free stuff, free SHIT. Every fourteen year old douchebag that rolls up in the latest Hustler Club AA tank (because tanks are the new deep-v) runs around Warped Tour in search of free things. They harass every tent looking for something free, and return home with posters ripped off of chain link fences, party city style sunglasses, some sweaty hugs from girls that wish they were myspace famous, a few Victory Records samplers, and way too many stickers from the Fearless Records tent. Although the majority of their charitable finds end up in the trash, the hunt for free crap is usually the first priority on anyone decked out in neon with a presale “laminate ticket” dangling from their neck.
3)The Truth Booth..or now, the Truth Truck. The big orange truck, blaring Britney Spears all day, run by the hyperactive nicotine-free elves that make unsuspecting kids sing karaoke or shake their not so in-shape booties for free shirts is a WarpedTour classic. Complete with simon..I mean Truth Says, it really enlightens nobody on the dangers of smoking, but rather distracts them with campy games, and the occasional Sing It Loud interview.
4)Piggy Back Bands. What would waiting in line for a day of not so rock n roll be without being harassed by sub-par bands guilting you into picking up their record? I mean everyone knows that 20 seconds of listening can determine your favorite band, and why spend $12 on a corndog when you can spend it on a homemade burned cd from a band with fake all access passes, that kevin lyman would like the dropkick (see our stubborn california faves, uh oh explosion)
5)Last, but definetely not least, the infamous BBQ. If you don’t know about the Warped Tour BBQ, you clearly haven’t been reading your AP’s like a good scenester would. When bus call isn’t at 10pm, there is, what is supposed to be a bbq for the bands,crew, production etc, that generally ends up riddled with drunk bitches looking to suck some Warped-dick (which really I don’t understand, because after a day at WarpedTour, generally you’re covered in dirt, and a peeling sunburn), and the awkward fangirls that got guest wristbands for working at catering. For those infamous girls, the night often starts out with “we need to like…get drunk, get weed, go like smoke on a bus, and like get laid at the bbq”, and depending on how many cups of The Force they have, generally ends in awkwardly oogling at John Oh, Alex G, or a wasted Nat from 3oh3 jiving it up to some MJ.
Warped Tour is a scene kids Christmas in July, complete with the truth elves, and the tattooed carnies that shit on Brokencyde during their sets. It’s not necessarily worthwhile, but for some reason its a scenester must, and has been for the past 15 years.
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kenzie
said:
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club accesss? what is itt? i cant figure out what the club access is! please helppp mee |
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